With the beginning of a new Month comes so much anguish, pain and perhaps tiredness of this world and what it offers. You look around and it seems as if you are alone in your sorrow, so hideous it is sometimes you cannot share with people because of the shame it brings along.

A wife of a loving pastor to his congregation but a demon and tormentor to his family at home, who can you tell?, who will believe your story?, that this worldly acclaim saint is indeed a black sheep covered in a lamb skin.  I have heard of Pastors, Doctors, Elder spokesperson called to protect the weak and vulnerable who became the oppressor. The war victims, girls and women in refugee camps being gang raped, poked and sodomized by the army called to protect them.

help me

Perhaps a husband and once bread winner whom the tides have turned for, made redundant, business gone aground and suddenly the husband who had been the homeowner fetching for over 20 years and your home had to be repossessed by the mortgage lenders because you cannot make the repayments, wife daily torments and stripes you of all dignity that you find it to hard to come back home daily for fear of nagging and ridicule by the same woman who put you on a pedestal a decade ago.

The single lady who has had one relationship after another, yet no hand in marriage, you look around and find you are the only single girl left among your friends, when your friends offer to introduce you to their male friends they even tend to be of the worse nature you imagine whether they had a good plan for you. Or perhaps its your best friend you relied on and shared your innermost secret with that stabbed you in the back.hope2

I volunteered once with the Good Samaritan group and listened in to conversation of desperate men and women who wanted to commit suicide and calling to speak to someone before they bow out of this world, who had horrible, horrible stories of  their present situations that will tip anyone over into the valley of darkness, where one looses all hope, tired of living and only looking for reason to check out of this wicked and gruesome world, where there is no one to rest.

A Sister in Christ I once knew had all her four children from 21 to 8 years old and her husband of 25 years of marriage die in a ghastly accident by a drunk driver in which only her survived. What can you tell such person, how can you imagine the pain and anguish she is going through?.  Or a friend with Cancer who you visit in the hospital and all he asks you to do is to pray for death to come soon so he can be released from excruciating pain unimaginable that you cannot bear as you feel the pain in his eyes and voice.

Hmmm!. As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me, While they say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” 11 Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God. Psalm 42:10-11

My best stories and testimonies in the Bible are of King David, I remembered when I was in the hospital for 2 weeks with a disfigured face that the doctors couldn’t figure out, my whole life unraveled before me, here I was sleeping on my hospital bed thinking God is this the end?, my face was so hideous I couldn’t go out of the ward as it scared people and I could see the shock on people’s faces.

I thought, why me Lord?, what will happen to my young children?, who will look after them? and if I live will I become a thing of ridicule among my friends?, what about my aged dad, if I die now who will bury him?…. silly things today when I reflect back, but this is the ‘valley of darkness’ where your faith is tested, where you need a greater power to keep you sane, a mighty hand to sustain you in this period of deep darkness, ‘temporal insanity’ the time when the enemy strikes and plays on your mind.


In the middle of the night I will wake up sweating scared of what the future has to offer me (based on my current situation). Then I will switch on my iPod and listen to the book of Psalms over and over again, I began to understand that my pain is not unique to me and through King Davids testimony with Saul and his son Absalom understood that we can never understand life or answer the question why?, for we are only a pot made by the potter, if he wishes he moulds the clay to a beautiful plate to be used by kings. If he also wishes he makes it into a lamp burning oil to shine in darkness, each one goes through a processing of refinement through fire but all the time His eyes is one the clay, just as it is on the sparrow, just as it was on King David who was nearly killed by his own loved son, yet he took solace in God and His words. Through King Davids testimony in the book of Psalms 3, 42, 43, 77 etc.  I began to see God and take strength that He is in the midst of my situation and hears all my groans, tears and pains.

In this season of Lent we only have to look at Jesus who took solace in God by seeking His face for 40 nights and days in the wilderness with prayer and fasting seeking strength to overcome his future torment, public disgrace and undignified painful death he has to go through for you and I. There is no one that understands your pain and turmoil as much as Jesus Christ our Redeemer[Tweet “There is no one that understands your pain and turmoil as much as Jesus Christ our Redeemer”]


He is our sustaining power, our present help in times of trouble. He will never leave you nor forsake you, he knows what you are going through and He will surely bring you through, remember ‘this too shall pass’.  Seek God desperately in prayer, in fasting and in praising Him, believing that He will heal your disease and bring you to a place of Joy. He knows your heart and He hears your every cry.

Remember to seek help in the right places, with family, spiritual mentors and professional help if needed. I find singing helps, it breaks the yoke of depression and conquers fear. The Devil doesn’t like you praising God, so keep bombarding your mind, your ears and your heart with Worship and praise songs to the Almighty God.

He is the Elohim, the eternal one, who never changes. He will send you angels to lift you up in your darkest hour and bring peace to your troubled soul. Remember Jesus Christ took all your pains with Him to the cross so that you can take strength in Him to overcome. He is the All knowing and All seeing God.[Tweet “GOD NEVER FAILS”]

Today I realise that whatever pain or sorrow I went through has made me stronger to become a better me and to witness to others that no matter what GOD NEVER FAILS. HE SAID, MY WAYS ARE NOT YOUR WAYS, SO HIS THINKING IS NOT LIKE OURS BUT HE HAS A PLAN. Cast it all to Jesus for He cares for you..

Help me O Lord

My prayer today is that the strength to walk through the valley of darkness, your time of drought and come out victoriously shall be bestowed unto you. He will sustain you and empower you, you will laugh last, you will overcome and say ‘ Look at what the Lord has done for me’, ‘my trials were meant for death but today I am still standing’!.



 “You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.

~ Old Chinese Proverb